at war n peace

back after so many days..i again fail to keep my commitment......i promised to return soon yet once again i am late..........actually i hv been at war wid self..so disturbed that i knew not wat to put down in here...
i my last post i said i was obsessed wid CAT...n now i think it has taken its toll...i know wen i said broke this news to my fellow puys they had me shocked..so were my parents. I decided against taking CAT at all though my love for PG still persists.
I decided i wont take CAT becoz i dnt want to do an MBA......the decision was tuf......but then i had made it taking into consideration all the pros and cons......i thot y i wanted an MBA.....i nw i feel foolish for the true reason i was running there..............i was running after it for 2 reasons.
1) i am afraid of technical line....n so it was a way out
2) the craze that is associated wid MBA
n i m ashamed now that i never wanted to do an MBA after knowing wat goes into making of an MBA and the life thereafter.....i can bet many of u r also in the same boat as me..taking CAT for the very same reasons....
So after a lot of introspections i felt a life of an MBA is not i had actually dreamt in the first place..honestly i always wanted a quite and normal life.....
many of u may think i have a loser attitude and m running away from challenges in life...but i m not...i just want to lead a simple life...my motive is not money but simplicity of life..a life of love, care , compassion n not a life where i cant devote time for these......here again i m not a saint that i want no money..i want..but just enuf for a decent life..... that goes on even wid 15k a month.............and wid my decision of not taking CAT i hve come to know how narrow minded some ppl are..some of my relatives hv even taken the pain to say that i m afraid i cant do it n so m running away....hehe....ppl hv their right to think watevr they want..................n now after a weeks time of deciding not to take CAT.......i will.....not bcz i want to bt bcz my mom wants me to..bcz i hv filled d form....... i think i owe her this much n wil go to d hall to take the exam....but jus for d sake of it...wid no preparations n no intension of MBA......so no expectation frm me....thats wat i hv already told my mom....

n now i come to the war n peace wid self........ever since i decided not to take CAT...i hv been thru days high n low.....i dont know wat i want to do...life now has no motive....n i hate this life......i hv been placed wid infy as u knw...but i dnt want to go to infy...i really dont want.......i dnt intend to hurt feelings of those who think infy is one of the best companies..but i jus don want an IT job..... a job in the electrical core industry is again one for which neither i m keen not capable.....so wat nxt.....ppl may say......that is y i shud go for MBA.....but thats not wat i want... everyday i come up wid a new idea abt wat i do nxt....some parents appreciate but mostly not...........but i really dont care now..its time that i do wat i really want in life.....i knw hwever brutal this war wid self may b, but i'l get 2 d ans soon.....soon enuf i'l knw wat i want...n then i'l let u all knw...till then take care..n good luck for all ur endeavours in life