Tuesday, October 27, 2009

at war n peace

back after so many days..i again fail to keep my commitment......i promised to return soon yet once again i am late..........actually i hv been at war wid self..so disturbed that i knew not wat to put down in here...
i my last post i said i was obsessed wid CAT...n now i think it has taken its toll...i know wen i said broke this news to my fellow puys they had me shocked..so were my parents. I decided against taking CAT at all though my love for PG still persists.
I decided i wont take CAT becoz i dnt want to do an MBA......the decision was tuf......but then i had made it taking into consideration all the pros and cons......i thot y i wanted an MBA.....i nw i feel foolish for the true reason i was running there..............i was running after it for 2 reasons.
1) i am afraid of technical line....n so it was a way out
2) the craze that is associated wid MBA
n i m ashamed now that i never wanted to do an MBA after knowing wat goes into making of an MBA and the life thereafter.....i can bet many of u r also in the same boat as me..taking CAT for the very same reasons....
So after a lot of introspections i felt a life of an MBA is not i had actually dreamt in the first place..honestly i always wanted a quite and normal life.....
many of u may think i have a loser attitude and m running away from challenges in life...but i m not...i just want to lead a simple life...my motive is not money but simplicity of life..a life of love, care , compassion n not a life where i cant devote time for these......here again i m not a saint that i want no money..i want..but just enuf for a decent life..... that goes on even wid 15k a month.............and wid my decision of not taking CAT i hve come to know how narrow minded some ppl are..some of my relatives hv even taken the pain to say that i m afraid i cant do it n so m running away....hehe....ppl hv their right to think watevr they want..................n now after a weeks time of deciding not to take CAT.......i will.....not bcz i want to bt bcz my mom wants me to..bcz i hv filled d form....... i think i owe her this much n wil go to d hall to take the exam....but jus for d sake of it...wid no preparations n no intension of MBA......so no expectation frm me....thats wat i hv already told my mom....

n now i come to the war n peace wid self........ever since i decided not to take CAT...i hv been thru days high n low.....i dont know wat i want to do...life now has no motive....n i hate this life......i hv been placed wid infy as u knw...but i dnt want to go to infy...i really dont want.......i dnt intend to hurt feelings of those who think infy is one of the best companies..but i jus don want an IT job..... a job in the electrical core industry is again one for which neither i m keen not capable.....so wat nxt.....ppl may say......that is y i shud go for MBA.....but thats not wat i want... everyday i come up wid a new idea abt wat i do nxt....some parents appreciate but mostly not...........but i really dont care now..its time that i do wat i really want in life.....i knw hwever brutal this war wid self may b, but i'l get 2 d ans soon.....soon enuf i'l knw wat i want...n then i'l let u all knw...till then take care..n good luck for all ur endeavours in life


  1. I won't say anything about your decision about taking/not taking CAT, this is your personal decision and I respect it.

    But I do want to tell you two things.

    1.) If you don't know what you want to do in life, that's absolutely normal, I mean I've read about a lot of people (No, I don't mean u haven't) and most of them were not very sure of what they want to do, they take what-ever comes their way, trying to put in their best in what-ever they do and some-where down the line(which may be as late as never) realize what they want to do and then do that. And this doesn't mean they have wasted all those years when they were unsure, its just that they were trying to find what they wanted to do, and the best way to do that is not to sit down and think but to try your hands and apply OPTION REJECTION :P.

    2.) You have some good mock scores under your belt and a lot of friends and well wishers with you, so if you are gonna take CAT (for aunt or for anybody else), give it your best shot, so that you don't have to say " I did it for my mom and it was just a casual attempt" or listen things like " She couldn't do it and now she is making excuses".

    You are gonna rock girl.....
    So make your well-wishers proud....

    Best of Luck for what-ever you do ....

  2. seeing the eye catching head I can't resist moiself to go thru ur post...
    One senior of our college(presently in IIML)told me one very interesting fact associated with IIM.
    "When I was about to enter in this portal I was mesmerized by their coveted salary, brand name and respect attached to it. When I entered into I felt this is just a callow part of it..The main reason to study in the elitist B School is very different..Different outright..Come here you can explore it...Hardly any word would suffice.."

    We are doing everything for peace, happiness n to make our mirror proud...Now whatever you choose give your best shot at least when these time stamps will disuse when we will be like destruction of experiences, we should be proud saying" My life has not gone waste." atb for your future..
    Keep smiling and take care..

  3. Why do u think that there is only one sort of life that an MBA can lead? I think that is a flawed idea. It is not necessary that you do MBA, but remember, there are two sort of actions in life. The first sort opens doors, and the second closes them. very often the same act opens some doors and closes some others. you need to look at the open doors. You need some education that will empower yourself. put you in a position where you can do what you want to do and give you a platform where others will want to hear you.

    i like the fact that you can take a counter-intuitive decision, against what everyone thinks, but you should also have a damn good reason to think differently. Just being different is not good enough, you also need to know what exactly you want to be and how that is better.

    All the best :)

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  5. Hello Lopa...........Its really a nice read.... and I am also passing through the same phase...........fed up with coding (thanks to my managers-They suck)....and preparing for MBA(half heartedly) since last three years.... got few calls also but couldnt convert.......but i choose to go for MBA as there was no other option .......and still i am not sure about what i want in life ...... so all confused ............
    and at last thanks a lot that u had guts to write what you feel...as many people dont .....

  6. Hey lopa, nice to have a post from you aftr so many days. Have been follwing ur posts lately,& agree with a lot of them.I am exactly in the same boat as you. Not really sure of anything ryt now. Am giving CAT too, think an MBA wud b gud, nt sure abt it tho.Not prepared so definitely not going to make it this time. I don't hate the technical line so much either, but think i need something better.There has always been a lack of commitment from my side, altho i always feel i can commit myself only when i find something worth the commitment. Wud luv a simple & quite life, but d past few days have made me realize such simplicity is possible only in ideal circumstances, not in a reality.Am waiting to find the right thing to do too, bt as sumone here has already said thrs no point in waiting for tht. Trial & error seems a gud way to test things ryt now.Unlike you tho engg. was my own choice. But dnt knw whr i lost d way.Still, trying to recover from d 4 yr debacle. Not everything can heppen the way we want.If i may suggest you sumthng,do sit for CAT of you hv already applied applied for it.At least it'll be worth d experience,& a gud %ile in the real CAT myt do a lot to ur confidence.Just see how much can u do without even trying for it,just with ur own raw talent. All d best 2 u!!!

  7. Hi Lop,

    I completely agree wth u tht most of t people doesn't know where thy wanna go....
    but still thy try out for option lyk me....
    me too no gud in techy... but i still think tht management might me t one i m luking for..

    As in Hindi thr is a saying..
    "Doorrr ke dhol suhwane lagte hainn.."

    but still..

    i m trynggggg ..lets c whr i land up...

    Hope u too land up somewhereeee,,, where u wish t be...

    Alll t best .....

    Keep on tryinggggg..

  8. Hello,i have been following your posts in Pagalguy in the Bank po thread and i must say i always saw your blog's link but never thought of reading it,but today i thought let's see how this guy's blog is?? Firstly after checking the blog i got to know that you are a gal!! Sorry for that!! Very interesting post and as many said that they are in same boat, well my life is precisely a xerox of your life!!! Pushed into engineering!! Hate technical..but not placed in any company..If any of my friend had got a infosys job he would have been the happiest person on the earth!! Chose MBA for a reason and i am sure its a valid one!! But i never give whole hearted commitment. So many interests in life but not sure which one and on the fact of simplicity it is exactly the same!! I want to work for my parents, they expect me to earn huge!! I absolutely love to do lot of seva i mean social work.. Do not know what future holds but i am sure i will realise my dream which has nothing to do with my career!! Its amazing to know a person whose life almost the same as mine!! Knowing the number of people in the same boat we should start a association for "Engineer's not interested in technical".. Ha Ha ( Bad joke)!! All the best for whatever you do!!

  9. hey i totally agree wid ...i guess m in da same state as u r

    cheers for ur decision its da right 1 !!!!

  10. hey !!
    i just read all above written things...
    well.. i have my own story...a techie from an NIT.. company SATYAM, 2009 Passout...MBA my love,
    and bla bla bla........!!
    1 suggestion 2u :- do the thing wht makes u happy.... dnt apply ur mind and try 2 feel the happiness...that is how i get rid of such situations :)
    besta luck.......!!

  11. MBA is over-hyped, and you made the right decision to chuck it. My younger sister is going through the same turmoil as you; I hated MBA myself; now I think I need it. So, I do understand where you are coming from. Take a vacation after your exams this year, be an ascetic for sometime and discover yourself. All the best Lopa !

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  14. Well, quite a good post.
    I will estimate that around 90% of the students pursuing higher education have no inkling as to what they want to do in future. They just go along with the flow, and do whatever their friends are doing or what their parents want them to.

    Very few actually follow their heart's desire and try to do something which they have really wanted to do. Its quite obvious that almost every good student in India is encouraged(sometimes against his/her will) to pursue engineering, even though that person may have absolutely no inclination towards it. Rather he may be interested in drawing, or dancing and acting. But he/she usually gives in, and gets into an engineering college, along with lakhs of other people who too had no inner desire to obtain a Btech/BE degree.

    In fact, around 95% of my friends are pursuing engineering, and I think less than 5% have a genuine interest in it. Do we really need so many useless engineers? the NASSCOM survey shows that more than 70% of the engineers have no industry skills. I say that other than the top engineering colleges, hardly any engineer has any skill at all(related to engineering. He could be good at other things).

    So after completing engineering, 3 things happen. The student opts for higher studies, takes a job, or sits at home. Lets take case 2: Another survey shows that 65% of the engineers enter into IT jobs. Why? Simple. Because they dont get other jobs, since getting into an IT job is far easier than getting a job at say, ONGC or BARC. And few people prefer to do an actual Engineering job(related to Electrical, Mech, Civil, etc). All are lunging toward IT, again without having any inclination towards it.

    Again, lets go to the 2nd part: Higher education. Most students will opt for either Mtech or MBA. And now, every alternate engineer wants to do an MBA. Why? Simple yet again. Greed of money is the no. 1 reason. Followed by desperateness of getting a job. Close at no 3, is due to the fad(MBA is the latest fashionable thing, everyone is doing it, so I must do it too, my friend is filling the form, I should too). Now, if the reason for doing an MBA are so nugatory, its no wonder why our country is still lagging behind. Its because most of the youth is confused. Few dare to innovate, and unleash their creative skills.

    Very few people actually pursue an MBA, because they want to gain business/management/corporate/etc knowledge. The ones who do, are usually the ones who are successful in life.


  15. *Continued from previous post:

    Most of us cannot think beyond making money/obtaining jobs. We have no specific vision or ambition. Rather than following our passion, we simply imitate others.

    For example, how many famous IITians and IIMians do we know and can name? How many of them have actually done something worthy of mention? Very few. Names like Chetan Bhagat, Harsha Bhogle, and Nandan Nilekani come to our minds, mainly because they dared to do something different and had the potential and ambition in them. Had they not, we would not have known them too.

    We usually hear about the high paying jobs that we get at top Bschools, which is the major reason why we opt for MBA. But how many of us have bothered to inquire what is the life of a Bschool pass-out, say who is in his 30s or 40s?

    If we do look into it, we will mostly find, that though they may be earning a lot, and may be posted oustide India, in a respectable position, few are satisfied with their life and job. Most are having health problems, and are so busy(due to their hectic schedule) that they rarely get the time to spend the money they earn and enjoy.

    When we ourselves reach that position and ratiocinate, we find that we are quite dissatisfied with the way things turned out to be. The reason is simple, we did not do what we wanted to do, but tried to live the life of another. So we never gave our full heart and efficiency to our work, and our first priority was always money.

    So its good that you have decided in advance that an MBA is not fit for you. In fact its not fit for over 90% of the MBA aspirants, simply because they have no inclination towards business. Yet they opt for an MBA anyways.

    We live in a country, where Science students dont do research in Science, where Engineers dont want to do technical or engineering related jobs. Clearly there is a huge flaw or mismatch in our education system which needs to be rectified soon.