at war n peace

back after so many days..i again fail to keep my commitment......i promised to return soon yet once again i am late..........actually i hv been at war wid self..so disturbed that i knew not wat to put down in here...
i my last post i said i was obsessed wid CAT...n now i think it has taken its toll...i know wen i said broke this news to my fellow puys they had me shocked..so were my parents. I decided against taking CAT at all though my love for PG still persists.
I decided i wont take CAT becoz i dnt want to do an MBA......the decision was tuf......but then i had made it taking into consideration all the pros and cons......i thot y i wanted an MBA.....i nw i feel foolish for the true reason i was running there..............i was running after it for 2 reasons.
1) i am afraid of technical line....n so it was a way out
2) the craze that is associated wid MBA
n i m ashamed now that i never wanted to do an MBA after knowing wat goes into making of an MBA and the life thereafter.....i can bet many of u r also in the same boat as me..taking CAT for the very same reasons....
So after a lot of introspections i felt a life of an MBA is not i had actually dreamt in the first place..honestly i always wanted a quite and normal life.....
many of u may think i have a loser attitude and m running away from challenges in life...but i m not...i just want to lead a simple life...my motive is not money but simplicity of life..a life of love, care , compassion n not a life where i cant devote time for these......here again i m not a saint that i want no money..i want..but just enuf for a decent life..... that goes on even wid 15k a month.............and wid my decision of not taking CAT i hve come to know how narrow minded some ppl are..some of my relatives hv even taken the pain to say that i m afraid i cant do it n so m running away....hehe....ppl hv their right to think watevr they want..................n now after a weeks time of deciding not to take CAT.......i will.....not bcz i want to bt bcz my mom wants me to..bcz i hv filled d form....... i think i owe her this much n wil go to d hall to take the exam....but jus for d sake of it...wid no preparations n no intension of MBA......so no expectation frm me....thats wat i hv already told my mom....

n now i come to the war n peace wid self........ever since i decided not to take CAT...i hv been thru days high n low.....i dont know wat i want to do...life now has no motive....n i hate this life......i hv been placed wid infy as u knw...but i dnt want to go to infy...i really dont want.......i dnt intend to hurt feelings of those who think infy is one of the best companies..but i jus don want an IT job..... a job in the electrical core industry is again one for which neither i m keen not capable.....so wat nxt.....ppl may say......that is y i shud go for MBA.....but thats not wat i want... everyday i come up wid a new idea abt wat i do nxt....some parents appreciate but mostly not...........but i really dont care now..its time that i do wat i really want in life.....i knw hwever brutal this war wid self may b, but i'l get 2 d ans soon.....soon enuf i'l knw wat i want...n then i'l let u all knw...till then take care..n good luck for all ur endeavours in life

love..disease....life.........

i am suffering from a severe disease...............................................obsession with CAT......................................but the most odd thing abt this disease is that i am enjoying it every bit................n nw that i hv got my new love........................PG...............................i feel i can surely do it...cz my new love is always there wit me thru thik n thin...........i am not going consistently up the ladder.....sometimes even going dwn....but CAT is all about performing on the D -DAY..and i knw i can..... i have nominated myself for UDT n KDT...........hope i get thru.....hope PG will take care of my feelings......i love u PG...........and one more information from my side....our www.onlingua.in is again ready to rock...... i have just completed the registration process for WEBEXPERIA SOLUTIONS successfully..............

........and finally.....my terrible ringtone rang....... i woke up startled....n who was it on d other side? Rohit himself...........spoke for aounrd 15 mins in 2 sessions.....and here's d newzzz... m a PG MadCapz now...my first big newz of this season....m sooo excited....insanity rulzzz..............

Nothing new happening in life.....got a job offer which I really dont want to do now.....and one more at hand...infy...neither am i very keen on that...... I want C in my life....coz i love C............wot else.....m eager for PG MadCapz............want to join very badly.........hope i get in......i'll surely let all of you know when the list is out................

B.Tech me?

Sorry everyone, for once again being so late to post....actually i was busy with some work and so down..that i didnt find my mind fine enuf to express...
Today, i am here to share with you a pice of my mind... as the title suggest..that is exactly what i feel now..B.Tech? Who me? Now whats that?
I got my degree results on the 20th of June , 2009. Managed a 8.18 DGPA.....for all non GPA ppl...thats 74.3%...sorry i forgot to mention... i hve graduated in electrical engineering....now dont ask me what is that.... i dont knw... thats wat is written on my provisional certificate....
That evening, one of my friends said..."so, now u r an engineer!" That was like a lightning strike 4 me.... never thought it that way... 'i am an engineer nw? wat is that? wat am i supposed 2 do?'...all this meant b--- s--- to me.. nothing else...its not that i say engineers r f------ but its that its a b--- s--- option for me..... i never wanted to b 1...so my friend sait "watevr..b it by choice or chance...u r 1 nw"..den i just remembered..it was neither by choice nor by chance....it was all but force n fear...i was forced 2 do it...n conceded cz i feared of the consequences that may rise otherwise....i lacked d guts to protest......was jst another mediocre gal....
this word...mediocrity,......it sux...................never was i d best in anything...but since 11th std..thats bck in 2003, this web of mediocrity engulfed me.....n ever since i didnt manage a way out..... perhaps i didnt try hard enuf.................now this mediocre life is slow poisoning me...n there 2 jus 2ways out......repair d way of life..n if its beyond repair..then end it.................but i guess d 2nd option again will b a mediocre's attitude n i am not going 2 continue as 1....
so i wud choose option 1.......................though i dont knw exactly hw 2 repair life right nw........but i hope i will come up wid ways 2 have a better life..............a step ahead of mediocrity if possible....

i am back

hellllooooooooooooooooo everyone..............................

back after a long long long long long long long time. Dear readers, soory for being away for so long. Actually i was in college(hostel) with no internet access. Now i am done with my college. "College"...no.....i would rather call that "4 years gone waste". To be honest, college for me was nothing but a waste of time. Except for a handful of friends out in my hostel i got nothing of my college life.....oh no....yeah i got....i got the my biggest gift of life in college....i found true love there, I mound my soul mate. Yeah love has happened before...or should i say those were infatuations ? .....dont really know, because had they been love, i shouldnt have forgotten them so easily. Now, getting out of this topic, let me share with you a very dark secret. These four years at college has been a torture for me. "Engineering students" used to call be "unlucky". Not because i was the victim, but as a person from science background i dont believe in such unscientific tags. But i had to suffer. I suffered very badly because everytime people(other than very limited number of friends) encountered me they covered their eyes and went past by so that they didnt have to see me. Such was the treatment i faced. I always felt responsible for this situation , however much my friends used to console, that it was not my fault but the backwardness of those people, responsible for the situation. But always it was i who used to suffer. I always wished that my college days rush by. Only in the last 4 months i came across a guy called madhur malhotra or MADDY. He's a life coach and could successfully instill in me the feelings that it was actually not my fault and i be happy. Since then i am really trying to be happy. And honestly i am happy. Happy that i have got some very good friends...sreya, ats, rimps, piu, mads, and my dear mars. I am happy that i have a cute brother. I am happy that i have true love. I am happy that i have a life. I am happy. Thank you Maddy for instilling in me d feelings when i needed it the most. Thanks.. Thank you my friends for being there for me throughout my rough times. Thank you all. I hope in the coming days i can lead my life to the fullest and hope that god blesses me with the power to face challenges that come my way.

I wont bore you people any further today, with all these stupid craps about me. Would come back next time with a topic that will interest you all and this time i'll be back soon.

Thanks and goodbye till then..

yours truly...................

NREG....my religion

NREG.....pronounced like "enrage".....my short form 4 'no religion'.
In this world of communal harmony/disharmony whatever is going on in other names, I stand out to follow a different religion call Nreg. Born in a hindu family, i am forced to write Hinduism as my religion in innumerable forms that i have to fill up everyday. But honestly speaking i am not hindu a bit, if praying to idols is what hinduism is, if chanting gayatri mantra is what hinduism is, if keeping fasts is what hinduism is. You may not believe me, but I have due respect for all religions equally, though i feel all of them come with their own rights n wrongs(no offence meant).
But i personally follow none or i follow the one callled Nreg. The underlined theory of my religion is that there is a superpower up above who can see us all. But it is not only the superpower whom we must have faith in but in OURSELVES. We must believe in ourselves, have faith in our own potentials than anyone else. We must learn to love ourselves first, because only then can we love others properly. If there exists so many religions with so many contrasting rules (though the main theory is almost same everywhere), there ought to be differences that will allways prove to be a threat to the peace and security of the people. Whereas Nreg is there for people of all religion to follow. It does not humiliate one religion or overemphasise any other. It only tells you that you should believe in your own self and then there cant be anything impossible. I see my freinds praying infront of god/bhagwan/ullah...whatever you may call him/her before exams. I would rather opt for some meditation to improve my concentration, my self belief, study hard to improve my knowledge rather than depend on someone else to request him/her that i have a good exam. Its just a small example that i gave you. I want you to be practical and believe in yourselves rather than someone else.
Some beliefs of nreg for you:
1. There is just one superpower who created the universe (until science proves
something strong enough to negate this fact)
2. Believe in your own potential rather than depending on someone else.
3. Work hard to do better rather than sitting back and asking your god for
miracles.
4. Respect yourself and others irrespective of what the other person thinks of you
or believes in.
5. Respect nature.
6. Dont hate others just because they dont think like you do or do not have the
same faith as yours.
7. Dont force your feelings on others.
8. Help the people in need but not in a way that they become dependent on you,
rather in a way that they learn to help themselves from the next time onwards.
9. Learn to be happy always. Do things that make others happy because that will
earn you immense happiness and a sense of fulfillment.
10. Thank the superpower once a day if possible for what he/she or whatever has
given you in this life.


Thank you all for reading in and if you believe that NREG is worthy enough for you to follow, just let me know. Also if you have any grievences about it please let me know.